I keep getting all these mixed up info about qabil from the net and wallahi I'm shocked ,there is Soo MUCH HATE going on behind closed doors ,what confuses me the most is who is to blame for starting this hatred between our youth ,the parents!!!
I don't think SOOO,call me sentimental bt I find it hard to believe that a mother (like my HOOyo)or a father (like ABOO)would do that !!
My parents are not perfect of course ,bt they've never taught us anything about qabil.I really don't know if that's a good thing or not ,b/c now that I'm older I'm SOO hungry for information and I feel this sudden urge to know all there iz to know about my past.
However, since it was quiet difficult for me to comprehend what happened in the past ,I decided to stick to the present ,and see how Fun it is TO KNOW Who I am ,and where I come from, and the Good things about my tribe.
off topic ,I met a girl online a couple of months ago who lives in another country ,and while we were discussing qabil,we were Amazed to know that we both Belong to the same qabil,and REER,so even though I have never met that girl in my life ,she asked her father and he knew my father by name, and my father remembered their family as well, they haven't Met for over 17 years ,HOW AMAZING IS THAT!!
Anyways the reason why I started this topic is, apparently SOO many Ppl hate us ,or maybe I should say kids ,I don't know wallahi I only met them online ,and when I say Hate,I mean HATEEEEE.
I'M trying to find a reasonable, logical reason for their hatred, and wallahi I can't!!
Is it a human nature to hate seeing other folks living happily n in peace?
Is it shaytaan that motivated these ppl to spread the heat,and keep grudges till the end of time ?
As I might've mentioned before ,my parents made a conscious decision Long time ago to limit our encounters with Somalis as much as possible ,we still visit them from time to time ,still go to wedding (not many though),funerals ,social gathering ,and it's only fair to mention that my area(even though it has a considerable amount of
Residents) it is mainly occupied by Kuwaitis, and it
Has only two Somali familys, which we hardly socialize with).
This decision was based on their experience in the past and what happened to my sister a few yrs ago proved their point.(SUM SOMALI GIRLZ bad INFLUENCE)
that with aWith combination of her fascination with this new world
(uni)completely altered the path she was supposed to take in life.
When I went to college ,it was the first time ever that I meet a Somali girl MY age,I got along with sum,I loved others ,I only befriended a couple ,Socaad and Fee couldn't be more different in every way.
One is 2 religious, covers from head to toe, nice and considerate kind of judgmental.
The other one doesn't really care what 2 wear, cabaya, skirt, jeans, she's the type that will tell u 'what I wear doezn't define who I am', very confrontational, with an odd personality ,extremely funny bt gets mad very easily, n supportive at the same time.
I like the rest, most of my girls R SWEET.
THE PROBLEM IS I 'm way 2 scared to let any of my Somali girls IN,simply b/c I lead a double life…..
It's not as bad as it sounds ,bt wat happens is I sometimes leave the house wearing sumthin and change on my way to college ,or go out to malls ,cinema ,restaurants whatever when my parents think I'm at college, first it felt really crazy and wrong.
and I was terrified of getting caught, then after a while I realized that many girls r doing the same(specially going out on our break)it was quiet natural to every1 bt MY family, and about wat I wear it's just wat a normal girl in my age wears, I don't throw my scarf, hook up with guys or skip my lectures like sum do.
When I really think about my life ,I know that I had no choice ,otherwise I would've simply suffocated, my parents are not as clueless as they seem,they KNOW that I go out sometimes they simply luv to pretend that they don't .I'm not sure why, it's just how things are around MY HOUSE……..
I'm a seNIOR at college, I'm stressed, I'm busy, I don't work as much as I should be working, I'm tired ,I feel that I've managed to dhameyay my energy in the past 3 yrz,I really Really want to graduate ,bt in the same time I feel as if I'm not ready to end this chapter of my life.
I often feel that I'm missing something, what is it!! Only Allah knows.
All I can do for now is try to fight the confusion and make the best of the time I have left in my college.
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You have been missed! I have to say that my last year of college was my hardest because i was just too tired. There was a part of me that wanted to finish quickly with college and there was another part of me that wanted to stay because i have made friends. But the truth was i was scared of life after college. I dont like change very much and the whole anticapation thing made me scared and i spent a good time daydreaming. But i am glad that chapter is closed. About the qabiil thing i dont even want to touch it because i know that a person is defined. I think it is sad that we do this to each other but dont learn to hate. We are all people. Care of yourself and inshaallah everthing will be alright.
Native walalllll, I've missed u guys 2…
I luv blogging, it's a great way to clear my mind and reflect..
Yes,I know EXACTLY wat u mean about not wanting things to change .I feel the same way sometimes Yet I'M DESPERATE TO GRADUATE .I do day dream often as well, mostly about what I'm going to do with my first pay check!!LOLLL
When it comes to qabil,I defiantly don't hate anyone,I just think that the only way to solve this qabil problem is to use it in a good/positive way….don't u think!!
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I think that qabiil when it comes to Somali people can never be used for good. And I say this because all those years of war in our country is all about qabiil. I think that we need to learn to love our difference. Take are sweats
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