Bak to real lifeeeee
2 weeks ago I received a shipment of novels that I ordered online .I managed to go to work /eat (very quickly )and sleep (only occasionally) while I buried my nose in my novels and I still can't believe I 'm done . I read around a novel each day (400) pages at least and I fooled people into thinking I was paying attention to their conversations ( while I was thinking what about what will happen next in the novel that was secretly tucked under my books.)
I feel strange like something is missing from my life, I'm barely resisting going to the book store and buying some more novels (even though the ones I like are not found in Kw).
The crazy part about this whole thing is =I honestly don't have that much free time so in order to finish reading ,I have to cut back on the things I normally do and of course sleep deprivation would've driven me crazy if I didn't sleep for 16 hours straight last night to make up for an entire week of staying a wake till 4 or 3 am and waking up a couple of hours later to go to work.
I miss my dream world :(
My boys
I'm not sure if I'm handling thing correctly but after a week or two of being the firm/mean/teacher I turn 180 degreez and become so friendly with my boys (if I feel that they're worth the good treatment )n I havE a hard time finding a middle ground (firm & friendly )at the same time. Don't get me wrong during the lesson I don't allow them to talk or interrupt me in anyway, but I don't think that sharing some information with them or answering a few personal questions is that big of a deal, so what if they want to know my age or if they're telling me about what they did yesterday or showing me something their parents brought them as a gift .I'm genuinely interested in every aspect of their life specially the excellent ,well behaved students .I think I like my job :)
Most white ppl are racist
I think I have to accept this fact so every time I find out that more ppl I know are racist I'll stop feeling shocked and get used to it by noww
I was attending a class for one of my colleagues and during the lesson the kids were playing scene using a baby toy and the toy was covered with a blanket when the baby was revealed , it was black and everyone laughed specially after listening to the dialogue :
Oh , what a lovely boy
Yes ,it's brown
It's got big nose
And red lips
Hahaha (very funny)
I was sitting there contemplating 2 actions (1-playing the adult role and ignoring what's happening or leaving the class and giving the teacher a piece of my mind) regardless to say that the coward me choose the first action plan.
I later found out that she meant it as a way to make fun of her black husband (Sooo Shallow)…….
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Invisible
Invisible
To be around ppl who can't see you
To talk to someone who won't bother to hear you
To reach out and hold the air
To fall and find there's no one there
To cry alone among a crowd
To walk the lane without a track
To stumble and fall and stay behind
While ppl move on and never turn around
That's my definition of being invisible
To be around ppl who can't see you
To talk to someone who won't bother to hear you
To reach out and hold the air
To fall and find there's no one there
To cry alone among a crowd
To walk the lane without a track
To stumble and fall and stay behind
While ppl move on and never turn around
That's my definition of being invisible
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
MEe
It's over
I still can't believe it. It doesn't make any sense. How can a friendship that lasted 7 yrs end like that, over (nothing )!!!!
A stupid argument, followed by days of silence from both sides , and now it's too late to change anything .
I sometimes wake up thinking , that's the day , the day she's going call , and the hours pass by like seconds and nothing changes.
It's been a month and I'm started to imagine the rest of my life without her, I think I can do it . I mean people lost their family and still survived, so why can't I get over the loss of my best friend after 7 years?!!
Because she wasn't my best friend, she was more like my soul mate, my confidant and more.
Sometimes I think I've dreamt it all, I've sat there building fantasies in the air and believing in things that no one else but me can see !!
If I'm wrong , then why in the worst time of my life , she simply threw our friendship out the way and didn't bother to pick up the phone and wonder how I've been holding up ?? did I make it .I'm I falling apart ??
I've always been a private person and even though I have other friends in my life , she was the one I gave my full attention to .
My mother has this idea that we were never friends in the actual sense of the word , since we mostly talked on the phone (247) and rarely saw each other , I used to disagree with mum , I mean her mother is too protective and won't let her go out alone with me , it's normal , it's not her fault !! Maybe so but still it Hurts knowing that she never cared about me enough to step over her enormous pride and take the first step for ONCE .
It's over , I get it , I accept , I'm not dwelling on it at all since god knows I have enough drama in my life that demands my full and complete attention .
I have no bad feelings towards her . I really don't . I'm still a little confused but I know that we can never go back now . it's too late
I wish u the best girlll , Good luck in your life and good byee.
WHY LIE?
I know ppl lie all the time about stupid stuff , but why lie about your age , why pretend that your younger than me when you're either my age or older . I mean does she think I'm stupid ??
It's really sad . I could understand if u lied about how much money you make , your imaginary boyfriend , or whatever , but your age …SOO SAD
GROW up . oh I forgot you are ALREADY A GROWN UP ..loll
Issues , issues !!
I wish I can write about something fun , like my new expensive phone or the tons of clothes I bought in the last couple of weeks , girls dig that stuff , what's wrong with me ??
I think I have issues . I teach boys and I think I'm started to act like them , even the way I walk , talk , dress , I'm not a girly girl any more …ohhh , let's face it I was a never a girly girl I was a (almost wanna be a goth girl )till my friend pulled me from the dark side and started to put clothes in my shopping bag , that weren't black . I love black Still, but I'm compromising and starting to wear a few grey/white stuff.
i know i know . grey is not exactly red.
Baby steps pplll, maybe one of these you'll even catch me wearing pink .
Ok .On a second though , I WON'T hold my breath if i were you .
I'de stuck with black THANK you very much ;-)
I still can't believe it. It doesn't make any sense. How can a friendship that lasted 7 yrs end like that, over (nothing )!!!!
A stupid argument, followed by days of silence from both sides , and now it's too late to change anything .
I sometimes wake up thinking , that's the day , the day she's going call , and the hours pass by like seconds and nothing changes.
It's been a month and I'm started to imagine the rest of my life without her, I think I can do it . I mean people lost their family and still survived, so why can't I get over the loss of my best friend after 7 years?!!
Because she wasn't my best friend, she was more like my soul mate, my confidant and more.
Sometimes I think I've dreamt it all, I've sat there building fantasies in the air and believing in things that no one else but me can see !!
If I'm wrong , then why in the worst time of my life , she simply threw our friendship out the way and didn't bother to pick up the phone and wonder how I've been holding up ?? did I make it .I'm I falling apart ??
I've always been a private person and even though I have other friends in my life , she was the one I gave my full attention to .
My mother has this idea that we were never friends in the actual sense of the word , since we mostly talked on the phone (247) and rarely saw each other , I used to disagree with mum , I mean her mother is too protective and won't let her go out alone with me , it's normal , it's not her fault !! Maybe so but still it Hurts knowing that she never cared about me enough to step over her enormous pride and take the first step for ONCE .
It's over , I get it , I accept , I'm not dwelling on it at all since god knows I have enough drama in my life that demands my full and complete attention .
I have no bad feelings towards her . I really don't . I'm still a little confused but I know that we can never go back now . it's too late
I wish u the best girlll , Good luck in your life and good byee.
WHY LIE?
I know ppl lie all the time about stupid stuff , but why lie about your age , why pretend that your younger than me when you're either my age or older . I mean does she think I'm stupid ??
It's really sad . I could understand if u lied about how much money you make , your imaginary boyfriend , or whatever , but your age …SOO SAD
GROW up . oh I forgot you are ALREADY A GROWN UP ..loll
Issues , issues !!
I wish I can write about something fun , like my new expensive phone or the tons of clothes I bought in the last couple of weeks , girls dig that stuff , what's wrong with me ??
I think I have issues . I teach boys and I think I'm started to act like them , even the way I walk , talk , dress , I'm not a girly girl any more …ohhh , let's face it I was a never a girly girl I was a (almost wanna be a goth girl )till my friend pulled me from the dark side and started to put clothes in my shopping bag , that weren't black . I love black Still, but I'm compromising and starting to wear a few grey/white stuff.
i know i know . grey is not exactly red.
Baby steps pplll, maybe one of these you'll even catch me wearing pink .
Ok .On a second though , I WON'T hold my breath if i were you .
I'de stuck with black THANK you very much ;-)
Monday, February 23, 2009
Break the CHIP!!
It's been forever since I wrote anything here and I miss it. I miss feeling young and carefree .I can't believe how much I've changed in one year. specially in the last couple of months ... So ...
WHAT'S NEW?
MY JOB
I Started working last Sept and it's been a roller coaster ride .I had my ups and downs. Kids made me cry .then bought me flowers .made me scream then made me Laugh. I honestly don't know what will happen from day to day so I try to do my best and see what will happen .
Money
I think it' kind of bad taste to talk about money. But who cares that's what we girls do all the time. It's SOO nice to buy 5 pieces of clothes and not even look at the price tag, why bother. I can afford it ;- )
The chip
I'm a coward. I really am. So instead of telling someone I can't see him anymore I called my girls and we'll get together tomorrow after work to break the semi-card, and buy a new one. I hate confrontations!!!
The new me
No braces ,no bushy eyebrows, new Hot wardrobe ,,,Change is GOOD :- )
WHAT'S NEW?
MY JOB
I Started working last Sept and it's been a roller coaster ride .I had my ups and downs. Kids made me cry .then bought me flowers .made me scream then made me Laugh. I honestly don't know what will happen from day to day so I try to do my best and see what will happen .
Money
I think it' kind of bad taste to talk about money. But who cares that's what we girls do all the time. It's SOO nice to buy 5 pieces of clothes and not even look at the price tag, why bother. I can afford it ;- )
The chip
I'm a coward. I really am. So instead of telling someone I can't see him anymore I called my girls and we'll get together tomorrow after work to break the semi-card, and buy a new one. I hate confrontations!!!
The new me
No braces ,no bushy eyebrows, new Hot wardrobe ,,,Change is GOOD :- )
Friday, July 18, 2008
Me, moving to Canada !!!!!!!!!
Ok ,it's just an idea and it probably won't happen anytime soon and yes I defiantly need to work and save some money bt still the idea scares the hell out of me.u don’t know me ppl.i love routine .I've always hated the first day of skool,first day of a new semester in college. I love things to stay the same. I hate change.bt now that I'm a couple of months away from starting my new job. I'm starting to feel like I should have some sort of plan for the rest of my life. Is it too soon .maybe!! But still now that I'm the only one left at home with mumy n dady I'm starting to feel that the idea of them both settling back in hargaisa in a couple of yrz is getting closer(n they often remind me of that fact, specially abo)
I'm a typical Somali, my cousins live all over the world, my siblings live in Europe, north America and Asia. I was born n raised here and for some reason despite the weather (unbearably HOTT)and the treatment (it could be really unfair sometimes)I'm still ok with it. I'm not one those who think the gates of happiness will open up the moment you step foot in America, Canada, UK or any other country. I'm realistic. I believe you have to work to take what you deserve and I love it here b/c despite some minor set backs I really didn't work that hard so in comparison to others my life was relatively easy (so far).
And yes I forgot to add ,my Sis keeps telling me that Canada is toooooooo cold ,I'm not sure I can managee there…….
Uh..i guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens cuz u never know maybe someone will come out of nowhere n propose .(As iffffff)lolllllll
Ps:I would love to get my MA is modern or children's literature .bt ppl keep telling me that there is no future in literature n that linguistics is the way to go. I love translation also…uh I'm confused. I'm sure that in a yr or so I'll know more about this ,,khair inshallah
What is up with girls and their pity jealousy?????!!!!!
Sometimes it doesn't matter what u did n where u went ,n how much fun it was, they always try to make you feel as if it's nothing or try t compete with u on something soo stupid or find something wrong with everything u've done ….
I gave up trying to understand them a long time ago, I decided to stay away n just keep a very small group of friends..
The sad part is when you're close friend catches the bug and tries to put u down(unintentionally maybe, I duno)that's why I find it soo refreshing to have someone in my life like Zee who I know wishes me the very best no matter what happens in my life ...miss u 7OBY
Note to moi: Mimi don't let anyone get to you.OKKKKK ;-) macc
I'm a typical Somali, my cousins live all over the world, my siblings live in Europe, north America and Asia. I was born n raised here and for some reason despite the weather (unbearably HOTT)and the treatment (it could be really unfair sometimes)I'm still ok with it. I'm not one those who think the gates of happiness will open up the moment you step foot in America, Canada, UK or any other country. I'm realistic. I believe you have to work to take what you deserve and I love it here b/c despite some minor set backs I really didn't work that hard so in comparison to others my life was relatively easy (so far).
And yes I forgot to add ,my Sis keeps telling me that Canada is toooooooo cold ,I'm not sure I can managee there…….
Uh..i guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens cuz u never know maybe someone will come out of nowhere n propose .(As iffffff)lolllllll
Ps:I would love to get my MA is modern or children's literature .bt ppl keep telling me that there is no future in literature n that linguistics is the way to go. I love translation also…uh I'm confused. I'm sure that in a yr or so I'll know more about this ,,khair inshallah
What is up with girls and their pity jealousy?????!!!!!
Sometimes it doesn't matter what u did n where u went ,n how much fun it was, they always try to make you feel as if it's nothing or try t compete with u on something soo stupid or find something wrong with everything u've done ….
I gave up trying to understand them a long time ago, I decided to stay away n just keep a very small group of friends..
The sad part is when you're close friend catches the bug and tries to put u down(unintentionally maybe, I duno)that's why I find it soo refreshing to have someone in my life like Zee who I know wishes me the very best no matter what happens in my life ...miss u 7OBY
Note to moi: Mimi don't let anyone get to you.OKKKKK ;-) macc
Thursday, June 5, 2008
3an miii
Mabrouk to moiiiii
I finally graduated ,4 yrs of hanging with my friends ,skipping lectures and dropping courses are finally Overrrrr…wow what a relieve !!!
My practical course was
HELLL…Foe the first time EVER I had to work. I mean REALLY work. planning lessons ,buying stuff for the kids, planning projects and paying a daily visit to the mall to get inspired by some new activities or new games .9 credits is no joke ppl. ALL my hard work paid off and I got an A (Smile)
Why keberka ppl?
A friend of mine who used to think that she's too good to teach, n
often bragged about how her college s soo modern n mine aint is apparently going .ixem ixem become a teacher herself. I think it finally sunk in that we're both B.A. holders.lolllllll
I finally graduated ,4 yrs of hanging with my friends ,skipping lectures and dropping courses are finally Overrrrr…wow what a relieve !!!
My practical course was
HELLL…Foe the first time EVER I had to work. I mean REALLY work. planning lessons ,buying stuff for the kids, planning projects and paying a daily visit to the mall to get inspired by some new activities or new games .9 credits is no joke ppl. ALL my hard work paid off and I got an A (Smile)
Why keberka ppl?
A friend of mine who used to think that she's too good to teach, n
often bragged about how her college s soo modern n mine aint is apparently going .ixem ixem become a teacher herself. I think it finally sunk in that we're both B.A. holders.lolllllll
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Changeeeeeeeeee!!
3weeks ago, I thought that my life changed ,that I've suddenly turned into a new person(a better one for that matter).I was so busy I stopped watching TV(for a TV addict ,this iz a major change).I barely had time to breath, think or talk to my family.
3weeks later, here I am. The same old girl. Still feeling that nothing changed. Yes I do have more responsibilities now and have cut down on many things during the week .but I still feel that nothing changed. Where I'm I getting this feeling from??(Routine).it's amazing how quick I've settled into my new job, yes I hate some ppl there n I've made almost no friends(one or 2 doesn't count when u work with dozens of WOMEN..bt still I don't think I've made enemies(yet).I'm not too friendly. I can't be fake(I'm Somali, I can't help it :-/) I'm really honest and quiet nice once you get to know me bt till then ..I like to keep to myself and hope to make a good impression on my superiors.
I'm still in a training process so I won't get paid until I work there 4 at least 6 months. I can bear that I think. But it bothers how some ppl assume that just b/c I'm a trainee they have the right to walk all over me. Well guess again ya xabiby!!!!!
3weeks later, here I am. The same old girl. Still feeling that nothing changed. Yes I do have more responsibilities now and have cut down on many things during the week .but I still feel that nothing changed. Where I'm I getting this feeling from??(Routine).it's amazing how quick I've settled into my new job, yes I hate some ppl there n I've made almost no friends(one or 2 doesn't count when u work with dozens of WOMEN..bt still I don't think I've made enemies(yet).I'm not too friendly. I can't be fake(I'm Somali, I can't help it :-/) I'm really honest and quiet nice once you get to know me bt till then ..I like to keep to myself and hope to make a good impression on my superiors.
I'm still in a training process so I won't get paid until I work there 4 at least 6 months. I can bear that I think. But it bothers how some ppl assume that just b/c I'm a trainee they have the right to walk all over me. Well guess again ya xabiby!!!!!
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