Age is just a number

I remember being 13 and looking up to my sister in university as a heavenly creature. In my eyes she could do no wrong and she knew everything.
I was very proud of her. Later on it turned out she is just a human. She made mistakes, regretted them.
And tried to put her life back together.
This seems like a billion years ago. Somehow I thought that being older will feel different. I'll know everything (or at least think I do).I'll be more confidant and I'll trust my decisions. That didn't happen.
On the contrary, I often feel like the same old girl. And I don't appreciate ppl looking at me as an adult. Or a child. I'm neither. No matter how old I get. It seems as if I'm always in an awkward age.
Its funny how last year, I was just another girl who is not the least bit interested in marriage and no one would even mention that word to me. At that time, I was considered too young to let such matters distract me.
All of a sudden, things started to change, Ppl stated to pray (make dua)
That I find a good Man .others stated to wonder if I'm available or not. My cousin started to emphasize on the importance of me learning how to cook. ect
When I was younger, I took comfort in the fact that most Somali girls who are a few yerz older than me were all single. I would tell my Arab friends "Somalis are not like you guys, we don't feel like sum poor spinsters the moment we hit 19 or 20"
But in the past few years, things started to change. Now, it is considered very normal for girls to get married at any age (20-23-29-35).it is all about your naseeb (fate).
I just feel that (over night) I'm a big girl, old enough to obsess about marriage (even though Allah knows I'm not even thinking about it).how could I ??
When I don't feel like a day older than my 18 birthday.