Back from the .........

It's happening ..
It's not a dream anymore .It's not a simple thought that I would push to the back of my mind and refuse to think about because it will probably never happen …
I'm actually, literally, almost there, I can feel, touch it and see it happen in my head.
I'm scared though .I'm not even sure I want it, but one thing I do now is that I can not go on like this. I need something more. I can't say that it's my life long dream but it's interesting, exciting and scary (very very scary ) .
I'm I making any sense, did I confuse yet?
No need for all that …….it's just that I'm finally going to do something different with my life .I'm applying for several master's programs in Canada and inshallah khair …..aMIN

No, I don't love my black students more. It's just that …..
They're perfect, seriously is it my problem that they are nasty with every other teacher but well behaved ,beautiful little angles with me .How can anyone fault me for loving those sweet kids !!!!!!
If every other teacher LOVES blond caddan boys with freckles, why would it be RACIST (Yes ,I've been called that word)for me to say that I like black kids!!!
It's unbelievable!!!!!!

He's just my FRIEND
Nothing more, nothing less. yes I don't have a boyfriend ,yes he doesn't have a girlfriend but still that DOESN'T automatically means that we'll fall madly in love with each other .I'm I being naïve here?
Almost everyone is telling me that something will happen ,things can not go on the way they are now ,they are poisoning my thoughts .I was really proud of myself (doing something new ,taking chances)without crossing the line and doing something I believe in my heart is wrong So I decided to shut my big mouth and stop telling my close friends about him and when I need to tell anyone badly ,I'll choOse someone who won't judge or simply doesn't care that much to analyze everything we said for 2 hours and asks me to read the messages word for word .
Friends can be a nausea sometimes ,,uhhh