Invisible
To be around ppl who can't see you
To talk to someone who won't bother to hear you
To reach out and hold the air
To fall and find there's no one there
To cry alone among a crowd
To walk the lane without a track
To stumble and fall and stay behind
While ppl move on and never turn around
That's my definition of being invisible
Monday, August 24, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
MEe
It's over
I still can't believe it. It doesn't make any sense. How can a friendship that lasted 7 yrs end like that, over (nothing )!!!!
A stupid argument, followed by days of silence from both sides , and now it's too late to change anything .
I sometimes wake up thinking , that's the day , the day she's going call , and the hours pass by like seconds and nothing changes.
It's been a month and I'm started to imagine the rest of my life without her, I think I can do it . I mean people lost their family and still survived, so why can't I get over the loss of my best friend after 7 years?!!
Because she wasn't my best friend, she was more like my soul mate, my confidant and more.
Sometimes I think I've dreamt it all, I've sat there building fantasies in the air and believing in things that no one else but me can see !!
If I'm wrong , then why in the worst time of my life , she simply threw our friendship out the way and didn't bother to pick up the phone and wonder how I've been holding up ?? did I make it .I'm I falling apart ??
I've always been a private person and even though I have other friends in my life , she was the one I gave my full attention to .
My mother has this idea that we were never friends in the actual sense of the word , since we mostly talked on the phone (247) and rarely saw each other , I used to disagree with mum , I mean her mother is too protective and won't let her go out alone with me , it's normal , it's not her fault !! Maybe so but still it Hurts knowing that she never cared about me enough to step over her enormous pride and take the first step for ONCE .
It's over , I get it , I accept , I'm not dwelling on it at all since god knows I have enough drama in my life that demands my full and complete attention .
I have no bad feelings towards her . I really don't . I'm still a little confused but I know that we can never go back now . it's too late
I wish u the best girlll , Good luck in your life and good byee.
WHY LIE?
I know ppl lie all the time about stupid stuff , but why lie about your age , why pretend that your younger than me when you're either my age or older . I mean does she think I'm stupid ??
It's really sad . I could understand if u lied about how much money you make , your imaginary boyfriend , or whatever , but your age …SOO SAD
GROW up . oh I forgot you are ALREADY A GROWN UP ..loll
Issues , issues !!
I wish I can write about something fun , like my new expensive phone or the tons of clothes I bought in the last couple of weeks , girls dig that stuff , what's wrong with me ??
I think I have issues . I teach boys and I think I'm started to act like them , even the way I walk , talk , dress , I'm not a girly girl any more …ohhh , let's face it I was a never a girly girl I was a (almost wanna be a goth girl )till my friend pulled me from the dark side and started to put clothes in my shopping bag , that weren't black . I love black Still, but I'm compromising and starting to wear a few grey/white stuff.
i know i know . grey is not exactly red.
Baby steps pplll, maybe one of these you'll even catch me wearing pink .
Ok .On a second though , I WON'T hold my breath if i were you .
I'de stuck with black THANK you very much ;-)
I still can't believe it. It doesn't make any sense. How can a friendship that lasted 7 yrs end like that, over (nothing )!!!!
A stupid argument, followed by days of silence from both sides , and now it's too late to change anything .
I sometimes wake up thinking , that's the day , the day she's going call , and the hours pass by like seconds and nothing changes.
It's been a month and I'm started to imagine the rest of my life without her, I think I can do it . I mean people lost their family and still survived, so why can't I get over the loss of my best friend after 7 years?!!
Because she wasn't my best friend, she was more like my soul mate, my confidant and more.
Sometimes I think I've dreamt it all, I've sat there building fantasies in the air and believing in things that no one else but me can see !!
If I'm wrong , then why in the worst time of my life , she simply threw our friendship out the way and didn't bother to pick up the phone and wonder how I've been holding up ?? did I make it .I'm I falling apart ??
I've always been a private person and even though I have other friends in my life , she was the one I gave my full attention to .
My mother has this idea that we were never friends in the actual sense of the word , since we mostly talked on the phone (247) and rarely saw each other , I used to disagree with mum , I mean her mother is too protective and won't let her go out alone with me , it's normal , it's not her fault !! Maybe so but still it Hurts knowing that she never cared about me enough to step over her enormous pride and take the first step for ONCE .
It's over , I get it , I accept , I'm not dwelling on it at all since god knows I have enough drama in my life that demands my full and complete attention .
I have no bad feelings towards her . I really don't . I'm still a little confused but I know that we can never go back now . it's too late
I wish u the best girlll , Good luck in your life and good byee.
WHY LIE?
I know ppl lie all the time about stupid stuff , but why lie about your age , why pretend that your younger than me when you're either my age or older . I mean does she think I'm stupid ??
It's really sad . I could understand if u lied about how much money you make , your imaginary boyfriend , or whatever , but your age …SOO SAD
GROW up . oh I forgot you are ALREADY A GROWN UP ..loll
Issues , issues !!
I wish I can write about something fun , like my new expensive phone or the tons of clothes I bought in the last couple of weeks , girls dig that stuff , what's wrong with me ??
I think I have issues . I teach boys and I think I'm started to act like them , even the way I walk , talk , dress , I'm not a girly girl any more …ohhh , let's face it I was a never a girly girl I was a (almost wanna be a goth girl )till my friend pulled me from the dark side and started to put clothes in my shopping bag , that weren't black . I love black Still, but I'm compromising and starting to wear a few grey/white stuff.
i know i know . grey is not exactly red.
Baby steps pplll, maybe one of these you'll even catch me wearing pink .
Ok .On a second though , I WON'T hold my breath if i were you .
I'de stuck with black THANK you very much ;-)
Monday, February 23, 2009
Break the CHIP!!
It's been forever since I wrote anything here and I miss it. I miss feeling young and carefree .I can't believe how much I've changed in one year. specially in the last couple of months ... So ...
WHAT'S NEW?
MY JOB
I Started working last Sept and it's been a roller coaster ride .I had my ups and downs. Kids made me cry .then bought me flowers .made me scream then made me Laugh. I honestly don't know what will happen from day to day so I try to do my best and see what will happen .
Money
I think it' kind of bad taste to talk about money. But who cares that's what we girls do all the time. It's SOO nice to buy 5 pieces of clothes and not even look at the price tag, why bother. I can afford it ;- )
The chip
I'm a coward. I really am. So instead of telling someone I can't see him anymore I called my girls and we'll get together tomorrow after work to break the semi-card, and buy a new one. I hate confrontations!!!
The new me
No braces ,no bushy eyebrows, new Hot wardrobe ,,,Change is GOOD :- )
WHAT'S NEW?
MY JOB
I Started working last Sept and it's been a roller coaster ride .I had my ups and downs. Kids made me cry .then bought me flowers .made me scream then made me Laugh. I honestly don't know what will happen from day to day so I try to do my best and see what will happen .
Money
I think it' kind of bad taste to talk about money. But who cares that's what we girls do all the time. It's SOO nice to buy 5 pieces of clothes and not even look at the price tag, why bother. I can afford it ;- )
The chip
I'm a coward. I really am. So instead of telling someone I can't see him anymore I called my girls and we'll get together tomorrow after work to break the semi-card, and buy a new one. I hate confrontations!!!
The new me
No braces ,no bushy eyebrows, new Hot wardrobe ,,,Change is GOOD :- )
Friday, July 18, 2008
Me, moving to Canada !!!!!!!!!
Ok ,it's just an idea and it probably won't happen anytime soon and yes I defiantly need to work and save some money bt still the idea scares the hell out of me.u don’t know me ppl.i love routine .I've always hated the first day of skool,first day of a new semester in college. I love things to stay the same. I hate change.bt now that I'm a couple of months away from starting my new job. I'm starting to feel like I should have some sort of plan for the rest of my life. Is it too soon .maybe!! But still now that I'm the only one left at home with mumy n dady I'm starting to feel that the idea of them both settling back in hargaisa in a couple of yrz is getting closer(n they often remind me of that fact, specially abo)
I'm a typical Somali, my cousins live all over the world, my siblings live in Europe, north America and Asia. I was born n raised here and for some reason despite the weather (unbearably HOTT)and the treatment (it could be really unfair sometimes)I'm still ok with it. I'm not one those who think the gates of happiness will open up the moment you step foot in America, Canada, UK or any other country. I'm realistic. I believe you have to work to take what you deserve and I love it here b/c despite some minor set backs I really didn't work that hard so in comparison to others my life was relatively easy (so far).
And yes I forgot to add ,my Sis keeps telling me that Canada is toooooooo cold ,I'm not sure I can managee there…….
Uh..i guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens cuz u never know maybe someone will come out of nowhere n propose .(As iffffff)lolllllll
Ps:I would love to get my MA is modern or children's literature .bt ppl keep telling me that there is no future in literature n that linguistics is the way to go. I love translation also…uh I'm confused. I'm sure that in a yr or so I'll know more about this ,,khair inshallah
What is up with girls and their pity jealousy?????!!!!!
Sometimes it doesn't matter what u did n where u went ,n how much fun it was, they always try to make you feel as if it's nothing or try t compete with u on something soo stupid or find something wrong with everything u've done ….
I gave up trying to understand them a long time ago, I decided to stay away n just keep a very small group of friends..
The sad part is when you're close friend catches the bug and tries to put u down(unintentionally maybe, I duno)that's why I find it soo refreshing to have someone in my life like Zee who I know wishes me the very best no matter what happens in my life ...miss u 7OBY
Note to moi: Mimi don't let anyone get to you.OKKKKK ;-) macc
I'm a typical Somali, my cousins live all over the world, my siblings live in Europe, north America and Asia. I was born n raised here and for some reason despite the weather (unbearably HOTT)and the treatment (it could be really unfair sometimes)I'm still ok with it. I'm not one those who think the gates of happiness will open up the moment you step foot in America, Canada, UK or any other country. I'm realistic. I believe you have to work to take what you deserve and I love it here b/c despite some minor set backs I really didn't work that hard so in comparison to others my life was relatively easy (so far).
And yes I forgot to add ,my Sis keeps telling me that Canada is toooooooo cold ,I'm not sure I can managee there…….
Uh..i guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens cuz u never know maybe someone will come out of nowhere n propose .(As iffffff)lolllllll
Ps:I would love to get my MA is modern or children's literature .bt ppl keep telling me that there is no future in literature n that linguistics is the way to go. I love translation also…uh I'm confused. I'm sure that in a yr or so I'll know more about this ,,khair inshallah
What is up with girls and their pity jealousy?????!!!!!
Sometimes it doesn't matter what u did n where u went ,n how much fun it was, they always try to make you feel as if it's nothing or try t compete with u on something soo stupid or find something wrong with everything u've done ….
I gave up trying to understand them a long time ago, I decided to stay away n just keep a very small group of friends..
The sad part is when you're close friend catches the bug and tries to put u down(unintentionally maybe, I duno)that's why I find it soo refreshing to have someone in my life like Zee who I know wishes me the very best no matter what happens in my life ...miss u 7OBY
Note to moi: Mimi don't let anyone get to you.OKKKKK ;-) macc
Thursday, June 5, 2008
3an miii
Mabrouk to moiiiii
I finally graduated ,4 yrs of hanging with my friends ,skipping lectures and dropping courses are finally Overrrrr…wow what a relieve !!!
My practical course was
HELLL…Foe the first time EVER I had to work. I mean REALLY work. planning lessons ,buying stuff for the kids, planning projects and paying a daily visit to the mall to get inspired by some new activities or new games .9 credits is no joke ppl. ALL my hard work paid off and I got an A (Smile)
Why keberka ppl?
A friend of mine who used to think that she's too good to teach, n
often bragged about how her college s soo modern n mine aint is apparently going .ixem ixem become a teacher herself. I think it finally sunk in that we're both B.A. holders.lolllllll
I finally graduated ,4 yrs of hanging with my friends ,skipping lectures and dropping courses are finally Overrrrr…wow what a relieve !!!
My practical course was
HELLL…Foe the first time EVER I had to work. I mean REALLY work. planning lessons ,buying stuff for the kids, planning projects and paying a daily visit to the mall to get inspired by some new activities or new games .9 credits is no joke ppl. ALL my hard work paid off and I got an A (Smile)
Why keberka ppl?
A friend of mine who used to think that she's too good to teach, n
often bragged about how her college s soo modern n mine aint is apparently going .ixem ixem become a teacher herself. I think it finally sunk in that we're both B.A. holders.lolllllll
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Changeeeeeeeeee!!
3weeks ago, I thought that my life changed ,that I've suddenly turned into a new person(a better one for that matter).I was so busy I stopped watching TV(for a TV addict ,this iz a major change).I barely had time to breath, think or talk to my family.
3weeks later, here I am. The same old girl. Still feeling that nothing changed. Yes I do have more responsibilities now and have cut down on many things during the week .but I still feel that nothing changed. Where I'm I getting this feeling from??(Routine).it's amazing how quick I've settled into my new job, yes I hate some ppl there n I've made almost no friends(one or 2 doesn't count when u work with dozens of WOMEN..bt still I don't think I've made enemies(yet).I'm not too friendly. I can't be fake(I'm Somali, I can't help it :-/) I'm really honest and quiet nice once you get to know me bt till then ..I like to keep to myself and hope to make a good impression on my superiors.
I'm still in a training process so I won't get paid until I work there 4 at least 6 months. I can bear that I think. But it bothers how some ppl assume that just b/c I'm a trainee they have the right to walk all over me. Well guess again ya xabiby!!!!!
3weeks later, here I am. The same old girl. Still feeling that nothing changed. Yes I do have more responsibilities now and have cut down on many things during the week .but I still feel that nothing changed. Where I'm I getting this feeling from??(Routine).it's amazing how quick I've settled into my new job, yes I hate some ppl there n I've made almost no friends(one or 2 doesn't count when u work with dozens of WOMEN..bt still I don't think I've made enemies(yet).I'm not too friendly. I can't be fake(I'm Somali, I can't help it :-/) I'm really honest and quiet nice once you get to know me bt till then ..I like to keep to myself and hope to make a good impression on my superiors.
I'm still in a training process so I won't get paid until I work there 4 at least 6 months. I can bear that I think. But it bothers how some ppl assume that just b/c I'm a trainee they have the right to walk all over me. Well guess again ya xabiby!!!!!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
WAAN WAYNADAY!!
I'm a big girl
……..So I turned 22 last week and I feel GREAT. Never did I imagine in a million yr that I'll ever experience a HAPPY birthday. Lol
normally,i sit in my room all alone feeling completely miserable thinking about how I didn't change one bit from how i was the yr before. But thiz yr i did change(or i think so) ..woww..Finally I'm starting to feel that my life is on track.
Do not judge plz
I'm sick and tired of my Ppl judging me when they find out what my JOB iz.i'm sorry that I didn't choose to become a nurse like the 1000 girl I know(mashallah I admire how brave they r dealing with blood n all that).n maybe my job is hard and under paid n maybe I didn't exactly Choose it(I got a scholarship).but still, I learned to accept it and I'm trying to stay positive b/c when I start working next Week inshallah.i'm planning TO LOVE IT .OK
I do not need a boyfriend
I don't. I'm happy being by myself and I don't plan on getting one anytime soon. I'm happily single. (Ill keep saying that over n over b/c maybe then I'll start believing it.)Loll
On a more serious note .I went out with a couple of girls the other day and they made me feel like a saint. One was fishing for the most allegeable bachelor to pay her BILLS. but no luck since she has dated most of the guyz in the mall. The other one was married who befriended a 19 yr old who's desperately in love with her to raise her selfestam.THESE ppl are not my friends and I'm not sure I want to be seen with them again. God knows ppl might start thinking I'm one of them.but honestly after the whole ordeal that
they made me go through with every jerk,loser following us the entire time (on foot and in my car).i honestly thought I'm cured.i mean who would want to be with any of those jerks .but on my way homeI stopped at the grocery store and saw a 6 feet tall guy
(love tall guys, I'm tall myself)black (his skin is the exact shade of my favorite chocolate bar .yumy)
who is driving a BLACK HUMMER(my favorite car, I literally
get dizzy when I see that car.I'M NOT KIDDING.)
And bam I'm back to singing my favorite SONG ..I don't…..BLA BLA BLA
……..So I turned 22 last week and I feel GREAT. Never did I imagine in a million yr that I'll ever experience a HAPPY birthday. Lol
normally,i sit in my room all alone feeling completely miserable thinking about how I didn't change one bit from how i was the yr before. But thiz yr i did change(or i think so) ..woww..Finally I'm starting to feel that my life is on track.
Do not judge plz
I'm sick and tired of my Ppl judging me when they find out what my JOB iz.i'm sorry that I didn't choose to become a nurse like the 1000 girl I know(mashallah I admire how brave they r dealing with blood n all that).n maybe my job is hard and under paid n maybe I didn't exactly Choose it(I got a scholarship).but still, I learned to accept it and I'm trying to stay positive b/c when I start working next Week inshallah.i'm planning TO LOVE IT .OK
I do not need a boyfriend
I don't. I'm happy being by myself and I don't plan on getting one anytime soon. I'm happily single. (Ill keep saying that over n over b/c maybe then I'll start believing it.)Loll
On a more serious note .I went out with a couple of girls the other day and they made me feel like a saint. One was fishing for the most allegeable bachelor to pay her BILLS. but no luck since she has dated most of the guyz in the mall. The other one was married who befriended a 19 yr old who's desperately in love with her to raise her selfestam.THESE ppl are not my friends and I'm not sure I want to be seen with them again. God knows ppl might start thinking I'm one of them.but honestly after the whole ordeal that
they made me go through with every jerk,loser following us the entire time (on foot and in my car).i honestly thought I'm cured.i mean who would want to be with any of those jerks .but on my way homeI stopped at the grocery store and saw a 6 feet tall guy
(love tall guys, I'm tall myself)black (his skin is the exact shade of my favorite chocolate bar .yumy)
who is driving a BLACK HUMMER(my favorite car, I literally
get dizzy when I see that car.I'M NOT KIDDING.)
And bam I'm back to singing my favorite SONG ..I don't…..BLA BLA BLA
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